Sports Illustrated's Dr. Z talks rugby

July 15, 2005

The Red Terror is digging around Sports Illustrated and catching up on the off-season columns of their football columnist Paul Zimmerman ("Dr. Z"). The Red Terror is alerted to the fact that Z used to play rugby and says he toured the U.K. many, many years ago as a player. Come to find the good Doctor spends time in New Zealand as well, watches the Rugby Channel and even catches some Super 12 games in person. You can read the different threads through the past couple months of his mailbag column. Here's an excerpt from last month:

Richard mentions a few of the ruggers from the Hurricanes, the champions of the Super 12 league, many of whom will play for the All Blacks, New Zealand's national side, and wonders if there could be a place for them in the NFL. Lote Tuquiri, the star runner? Great moves indeed, but I think it would be a very tough transition (although when Charley Casserly was with the Redskins he made some serious inquiries about the Blacks' 250-pound Jonah Lomu). Chris Jack, the 6-8 lock? Uh, no. Athletic and rawboned, but I fear the NFL's 320-pound weightroom freaks would break him in half.

Richie McCaw, the speedy forward? Ah yes, now we're getting somewhere, because of all the ruggers I watched these were the guys who impressed me the most -- the compact 235-245-pounders who could run like the wind and do some serious smacking. I haven't seen much international-level rugby live in quite a while, but what really got me this time was the caliber and ferocity of the hitting.

Not so much in the tackling of the ball carriers. It's still a twisting, bulldogging type of tackle, and head shots are severely penalized. I'm talking about the way these guys go flying into the loose rucks and take out anybody who's not paying attention. What's a loose ruck? The milling scrimmage that takes place when a runner is downed. I used to enjoy this part of the game when I was playing because it was a cheap-shotter's paradise, but I never saw anything to match the waves of frenzied forwards pouring into the middle of things that I saw in NZ. They had "special teams" written all over them.

I was talking to an NFL personnel director a few days ago and I told him he really ought to take a look at these guys. He said, "Well, we've a rugby kicker in camp who we're looking at," and I gave him much the same pitch you've just read and he took the news calmly. The problem is why would a dedicated rugger give up his All Blacks competition, which brands him as sort of a god over there, to try out for NFL special teams, at minimal salary? Besides, ruggers get paid now.

Richard's final question: How many NFL linemen could survive rugby? A lot of the sleeker ones, but it would take a special kind of training for a fairly long period.

Some small quibbles Dr. Z . . . firstly, the Super 12 champs are the Canterbury Crusaders, not the Hurricanes. The 'Canes have never won a title. The teams are on different islands, but at least you got them in the same country. Lote Tuquiri on the other hand, doesn't even ply his trade in New Zealand -- he plays for the New South Wales Waratahs and the Australian Wallabies. If Dr. Z wants to see a couple 'Canes who'd would have been great players in the NFL, he'd want to see Jerry Collins and cuzzie Tana Umaga. Collins is a prototype NFL linebacker, a bone-crunching tackler who sometimes uses his shoulder. Umaga is versatile, smart and skilled enough he could play in the back-field, linebacker or corner. The ferocity of their hits reminds me of the future Hall of Fame linebacker Junior Seau. And they'd be starting, not playing "special teams." And as far as Chris Jack fearing the 320-pound lineman, that's a stupid comparison. Jack would more likely play a tight-end -- his size and skill-set would be ideal.

But seriously, who needs to think about these guys padding up for the NFL when they're already ideally suited to playing a far superior game: rugby union!!